Ringo #61
Golden days....
In my line of work (youth wellbeing) there are often moments of self-reflection, whether it be in school workshops, planning or just general day to day office chit chat. Never in my workspace has my own life been so closely scrutinised, by myself! Conversations I had long forgotten come to the surface daily; family holidays, discussions with grandparents, sibling adventures, school yard negotiations such as in year 5 when I rented my friend Leanne’s high cork wedge sandals to wear at recess times as Jude would never allow me to have shoes like that, let alone a black buckle bag, God forbid!! There were style standards to uphold!
This week I was involved in a strategy day and tasked with sharing key life highlights. The question was asked, if you could have one day repeated from your life what would it be? Instantly, without question, it was my wedding day (the second one of course!). Why, you ask? It was without doubt the happiest day of my life. It was the time of my life, early thirties, when I look back now, life generally, was peaking for us all. I had a terrific, fun partner, a fantastic design job travelling the world, a brilliant gaggle of friends with whom I shared many fun times, my family were all happy, settled, and secure. Grandparents, well there were three with beating hearts, involved, and so interesting, lots of fascinating, vibrant and inspiring family friends, life in its entirety was grand. It was an abundant time, filled with happiness, certainty and fun.
On the flip side, I heard today of the passing of a close school friend. Close during and directly after school, however, not in recent times, but often thought of as we share the same birthday month, so every year, over the past 40 years, I would message him and two others around our birthdays, just to keep in touch. I received the news in a meeting today and instantly cried. I felt such loss for him. How life had once been so full of hope, success in leadership and sport, then work. The son of kind foster parents, whose smile lit every room, was loved and whose company was enjoyed by everyone. Life can turn on a dime, as too many of us know. The key is to be nimble enough to pivot, to turn the dime again, and again if need be. Some can achieve this, myself included, others cannot. Justin could not.
One of my colleagues said this afternoon after I shared this news, “life is beautiful and brutal.” I sat with that for a while and thought, I could not have articulated the machinations of life more succinctly. It makes you think, we must focus on the beautiful and prepare for the brutal as it does come, in many forms, but it is not what defines memories. Beauty, joy and happiness make memories.
I came home from work and straight away looked at my wedding photos. My beaming face, my happy, relaxed friends, my joyful family, the presence of grandparents, my eclectic family friends. I then looked at my last day of school. My friends, of which Justin featured in most shots, hamming it up, always at the centre, so handsome, bridging cultures we were then so unaware of, and the challenges he would face. I am glad I had that day too. In life we have so many great days. Golden days. It is wonderful to acknowledge them, cherish them, and look forward to experiencing more.
Sometimes regardless of outcomes it is so good to re live the golden days.
XX Ringo XX
RIP Frybie xxx